So sorry to leave you all with that depressing post!
My life has been full of upheaval. It always seems like it is, really... But the truth is that I have actually been LIVING, and haven't had much time to WRITE about living....
Armondo and I are doing well now. Marriage is sooo hard. Commitment is hard. Stick-to-it-ive-ness is hard! We are heading towards our fifth wedding anniversary. We've been together for about 6 and a half years. Due to all my moving around through the years, and my shuffling through different family units, I can say that I've only really had three friendships (including with Armondo) that have even lasted that long. (I mean friendships where I still talk to the person all the time, and keep in constant contact. I have lots of friends who I've known for way longer, who, of course, I will always consider to be friends, but who have drifted away here and there for various reasons.) So, staying close to someone for this long is very strange for me. Through counselling with our pastor, and with lots of hard work from both of us (Armondo, mostly, if I was to be honest) we're working through it all! And I'm so glad about it. I was so ready to give up!
I've started a new job. I was upset about having to find a new job at first. I had put so much work into starting a daycare and was sad to give up the dream due to not being able to find permanant clients. I was also upset about leaving my kids all day to go to work. It's turned out to be not that bad, really. I don't start work super early in the morning, and I get off at dinner time, and I only work 30 hours a week, so really, I'm only missing out on about 4 hours of my kids' day (because when I was home all day, 3 hours of the day was nap time anyway). Armondo is home every morning, I'm home every evening, and our shedules only overlap three days a week, so the kids only have about 12 hours of daycare a week. And the job is pretty great so far. I'm just training right now, but it looks like it'll be a good job. (I'm working at a bank. I cannot give too much more info than that for legal reasons. I'm not allowed to blog about my job. Says so right in the rules!) The drawback is that I'm pretty tired in the evenings, and can't stay up late enough to see Armondo when he gets back from work. We really only get two full mornings and two full evenings with each other a week, with an hour here and there in between. But we survived him leaving for months at a time fishing, so I'm sure we can survive this!
I'm reading the Twilight series right now. I had first heard about it from my babysitter. Then I heard about it on
www.truemomconfessions.com, then on the news, then the movie came out, etc, etc. I'm not obsessed or anything, though I can see why a lot of people are. I just finished the second book tonight, and will start the third tomorrow. The books are quite juvenile, which is fine, as they were written for teens, and they're a quick read, which is also fine, 'cause I don't have a lot of spare time, but they're enjoyable as well. I find reading them takes me back to a more innocent, wonderous time in my life. Things were always nuts for me at home growing up, and school wasn't all that much better most of the time, but I always had an active imaginary life. In my imaginary life, I was much more naive, more eloquant, more likeable, more chaste, and in reading these books, I'm not brought back to my real teenage years, but brought back to my pleasant imaginary, teenage years. The pretend life I had where the boy I crushed on actually liked me back, so, I didn't settle for every other guy who looked my way. The grades I got in school were good, in spite of me moving every semester or two. Where both my father and mother loved me, even though a time and space distanced me from at least one of them at any given time. That's where these books are taking me back to. And I love it. I AM Bella Swan. Just like millions of other girls and women out there.
And that's where I will end this tonight. I have a dishwasher to fill before I drop my head on my pillow!
But that's not the funny part... the funny part is that, at the exact same age, I myself had bad hair....
And since I've been home from work today, each time I've looked at my eldest daughter, it has almost been like looking into a 25 year old mirror. Way creepy!
